I am being indesicive
November 7, 2012 § 4 Comments
I’ve been avoiding theNaNoWriMo site.
My NaNo is not going well. Basically, I had no planning, which is cool because I never have planning. And the first couple of days I wrote a lot and had a lot of fun. My mom wasn’t crazy about me participating but let’s be serious when do you ever get the reaction you want from your parents. But then I started to get stuck.
It wasn’t just in my story, although that was happening (or well, not happening) too. I have no drive to write, and I’m unhappy with what I was writing. My characters felt too cynical or too dreamy. I have this terrible habit of writing all of my main characters as these beautiful enigmas that aren’t me and I can’t connect to. But more over that, writing about her made me feel tired, not excited. She seemed to hate her parents, everyone at school, the town she grew up in.
I don’t want to read that, let alone write it. I feel like I was just trapping myself in my words.
So. I really don’t know. I’m so stressed out. I might start over I might not. I’m like a million words away from where I need to be. I just don’t know that right now is the right time for me to do NaNo.
I’ve been given the suggestion to start over, but at this point I feel extremely discouraged. I want to write because it’s what I know, but I also feel like I don’t even know who I am, let alone what I need to say to a blank word document. Yep. Down and out then. Have a nice day.