I am being indesicive

November 7, 2012 § 4 Comments

I’ve been avoiding theNaNoWriMo site. 

My NaNo is not going well. Basically, I had no planning, which is cool because I never have planning. And the first couple of days I wrote a lot and had a lot of fun. My mom wasn’t crazy about me participating but let’s be serious when do you ever get the reaction you want from your parents. But then I started to get stuck.

It wasn’t just in my story, although that was happening (or well, not happening)  too. I have no drive to write, and I’m unhappy with what I was writing. My characters felt too cynical or too dreamy. I have this terrible habit of writing all of my main characters as these beautiful enigmas that aren’t me and I can’t connect to. But more over that, writing about her made me feel tired, not excited. She seemed to hate her parents, everyone at school, the town she grew up in.

I don’t want to read that, let alone write it. I feel like I was just trapping myself in my words.

So. I really don’t know. I’m so stressed out. I might start over I might not. I’m like a million words away from where I need to be. I just don’t know that right now is the right time for me to do NaNo.

I’ve been given the suggestion to start over, but at this point I feel extremely discouraged. I want to write because it’s what I know, but I also feel like I don’t even know who I am, let alone what I need to say to a blank word document. Yep. Down and out then. Have a nice day.

Here’s a photo: Image

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§ 4 Responses to I am being indesicive

  • fissionerror says:

    For whatever the advice of a stranger is worth, I’d press through it. You could start over or you could just change midstream and go back after NaNo and ‘fix’ things for consistency. The biggest advantage of NaNo in my opinion is to get one’s self into the habit of writing, and worry about fine-tuning your process once you’ve established a pattern of doing it. Best of luck!

    • I’ve done NaNo 2 years now, and really the biggest issue of it all is that I really don’t want to break my record, lol, but honestly, at this point I couldn’t go back to that story. If I were to go forward at all I would have to start over completely. Thank you so much for the advice!

  • Amanda M. says:

    I think NaNo is in some ways for people who have there own lives figured out, or at least are comfortable where they are. If someone, like you or me for example, is not completely fine with there life as it is, then it is hard to write 50,000 words about someone else’s life. That is unless the writing is what is helping the person to figure themselves out.
    Obviously I am a “noob” at NaNo this year, but the statement still stands i think.

    • Basically. I don’t know. I’m just a giant ball of stress and I’m trying to decide if I’ll be more stressed writing or not. One of the bigger issues with the piece itself is that it’s so… negative. And I don’t know how I could fix that when I’m *feeling* so negative.

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