Here Is The First Chapter Of My NaNoWriMo

November 21, 2011 § 4 Comments

Tuesday:

April. A P R I L. I felt it in the air. I could taste the name on my tongue and push the letters against my teeth. I heard it whispered into my ear and could see it on artistically framed art pieces. My heart beat the five letters as if in Morse code and my fingers began to trace them onto my arm.

                I had just been standing up from the curb where I had been sitting, outside of the local drug store, trying to tie my shoe without putting down any of the bags I had just procured for my sister. It was a bit of a balancing act, me holding the bags and twisting my laces at the same time. And then, suddenly April.

                It was palpable. It was… a change in temperature, a change in atmosphere maybe. A man rode by on his bike, a woman walked her dog. They didn’t notice it. I sat back down on the curb, clutching my head into my hands.

                It didn’t hurt really, it was just strong.

                I took my black sharpie from my bag, and looked down on the thigh area of my jeans. They were already covered in words, categorized by life and death, linked in color, shape and resemblance. I wrote the name APRIL over all of it.

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§ 4 Responses to Here Is The First Chapter Of My NaNoWriMo

  • Liam Wood says:

    A little… strange… Not much to go on, but I could see it as a first chapter. I liked how you did this, though. Good job!

    • wreakinghavoc14 says:

      This was based off something I had written in the summer. And it is strange, but I like the words, I think the best. My least favroite bit was that I wrote it in past tense. It’s driving me crazy. I’m not a past tense kind of person.

  • ahlterra says:

    very well written.

    and the past tense is actually a good thing, your character is explaining how it all started. One small thing bothered me, though. From the rest of the, admittedly small, sample the narrator comes across as being a young girl, seventeen at the oldest. as a result of that, using the word ‘procured’ seems a bit, out of place. it was the only thing that jarred me out of reading the story and made me think ‘that doesn’t belong there’. It comes across as a word used more by somebody who has suffered through university, or a word used by somebody trying to sound ‘smarter’ or ‘more refined’ than they are.

    Which, given that your narrator has been drawing on her jeans with a sharpie, I don’t think that quite fits.

    But again, it’s a small sample. And very well written.

    • wreakinghavoc14 says:

      Thank you for the constructive critisim! I guess I didn’t really realize the wording as being to large for a 16 year old, as it was written by a 14 year old. But seriously thank you!

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