She Turned Me Into A Newt!

October 26, 2011 § 6 Comments

Well. It was officially proven during sixth period today. I am not a witch.

((At least I hope that’s what was proven. I’m still a bit confused myself. I didn’t confess myself anyway.))

We’ve been setting up mock ‘Witch Trails’ in our social studies class to learn in-depth about the Salem Witch Trails all of their splendid horrors. Our teacher, a short bald and overly energetic man who smiles more than the average human being, assigns us each a role of an actual person that testified at the real trials. I was one of the witch. Sarah Osborne to be exact.

Sarah Osborne was in a bit of pickle before the trails. She had a husband that hated her children, the Putnam’s trying to get after her for the land she collected in her first marriage, and to top it all of she was sick. Sick, sick, sick. Sick as a dog. And then, some 12-year-old girls that are guilty from listening to horror stories go around telling the town she was doing the worst deed imaginable to the Puritans. Devil Worship and Witch Craft.

Can’t say I don’t feel for the girl.

With that said, today when I testified I tried my best to make her out to be a stong lovable gal with all the essentials. Why wasn’t her husband there at the trails? Was it because he hated her? No! Of course not! It was because if anything were to happen to her, he would burst into tears with love and rip apart his own street cred.  Why did people accuse her of being a witch in the first place? Because she was sick and mean? No! Who would say such a thing! it was because they were all jealous because she was so beautiful and trustworthy.

I think I stood up for her very well thankyouverymuch. And they didn’t kill me or corner me into confessing which was an accomplishment. They even cornered people that *weren’t* accused of witch craft into confessing. *waggling her finger* Those tricky magistrates.

But yes. I am a bit proud of myself today.

Advertisements

Tagged: , , , , , , ,

§ 6 Responses to She Turned Me Into A Newt!

  • coffeebeans says:

    I AM A MAGISTRATE.
    Not in your class. BUT BARBRA AND I WERE LIKE, CORNERING PEOPLE INTO CONFESSING, AND WE GOT TITUBA TO UN-CONFESS, AND BARBRA AND I ARE THE BOMB.

    • wreakinghavoc14 says:

      How did she *un*-confess?

      • coffeebeans says:

        She’s Tituba, and she was already a confessed witch. But THEN, Mr. Haller, Barbra and I were like, shooting all these super-duper questions at her, and she was all confused, and then she said that she couldn’t remember who her slave master was, and then, I was all, “You can’t remember?” and she’s like, “no.” And so Mr. Haller was all, “IF YOU CAN’T REMEMBER, DOES THAT MEAN THAT YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S BEING POSSESSED?” and I was like, that makes no sense. But then! Then she was like, no. And I leaned foward with my hands folded like an OG and I asked, “Did your master, Reverend Samuel Parris, pressure you into confessing of witchcraft?” and she was like, “yes.”
        SO SHE UN CONFESSED, SUCKKKKA.

      • wreakinghavoc14 says:

        I feel as though that is a bit of lie. But job well done.

  • Amanda a.k.a. Martha corey an old lady says:

    i am the super religious un guilty martha corey who recieved a poem today about the pressing to death of giles my hubby that said we will do it too you too!!! how dare that bald super smiling energetic dernded magistrate who weaseled 2 witnesses to confess to being a witch and all but one afflicted girls to withdraw charges and confess to lying!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading She Turned Me Into A Newt! at Comfy Sweaters, Writing and Fish.

meta

%d bloggers like this: