Things I Know How To Do:

(in no particular order and also in response to this video by the amazing, wonderful and great John Green.)

• Clicking Pens and also Destroying Things. I put these two things, seemingly very different, because in this case they are not at all. Different I mean. They are the things that I do when i don’t know that i am doing anything. When I’m at church and listening to people talk, or in class, or in a park movie theater, etc. I shred my nail polish or rip holes in my (r other people’s) jeans and jackets. And then the pen clicking. Mostly, I think I like it because I enjoy having the power to make noise. And although it bothers people, it is generally preferred over me picking the scabs on their arms or splitting their loose ends. 
• Taking Pictures and then Adding Words To Them. Seen on such places as www.sixwordshortstory.tumblr.com a website of which I now own. (GO THERE, GO THERE, GO THERE) This is the sort of thing I can not explain but I can show. (That’s a line from John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars, by the way.)
• Writing Letters. I know this seems like a thing it’s hard to be *good* at per se, but I would say that I am. In fact, I rather love letters. I like that they are personal but not a conversation, a monologue but not spoken out loud, plan-able but spontaneous, editable but short. You can put other peoples words in letters, without needing to call them your own, and set a town for them and a theme. 
• Avoiding homework.  This is proof of that one.

Okay. I should really scamper away now. Have a lovely day. 

*intro Music*

Currently my hair is poofy. It is not usually poofy. But my mother braided my hair for a very long time the other night while it was wet. So now it is poofy.  I quite like it.

Valentine’s Day Thoughts: I don’t have many really. I mean, I’m not part of a treacherous love story, I’m not a character of Boy Meets World, and yeah. I don’t have like. A boyfriend. So it didn’t affect me  very much.

HOWEVER. I did appreciate the opportunity to write lovely notes to my friend and give hugs and eat pixy stixs. (Yeah. Giving me pixy stix? Not your finest moment Coffee.) ((However, I deeply appreciate it.)) (((However I’m not sure if any of my teachers did.))) ((((Sarah + Lots Of Sugar = Not The Calmest Person In The World))))

And yeah, I know it’s just a day that was invented by stores so they could sell more cards/flowers/chocolates, but I don’t actually mind it that much. In the end, it’s a day celebrating that you love for people, which is something that feels good regardless.

And really, there are worse thing than a day dedicated to buying things for those you love. I mean, do you have to buy anything at all? No. You can just let the people you love, know that you love them.

I have never seen your eyes before.

At least not like this.

With fire in them, ice in them, darkness and brightness.

They are no longer their grey color.

No longer their brown/green/blue color.

They are the color of the night. 

The color of the feeling that you get when you see someone you love cry.

Your eyes have changed to the color you see when you feel hate and rage and love.

And I don’t think that the brightness in them—

the color, the spite, the feeling

—will ever go out. 

Why yes. 

The capitals were necessary. 

This months prompt was: What are your thoughts on romance for your typical genre? Do you tend to have a little, a lot, or none at all?

Oh hahah. Ha haha. Ha. I have things to say, dearest readers. I have lots of things to say. 

You see, once upon a time in mystical kingdom over the hill, I was fairly positive that I was a princess. A princess that did not like to read. Ever at all. And then something happened. This thing would be called Twilight. 

Yeah. I know. But seriously. It got me to *read*. It got me to obsess and freak out over vampires but over all it got me to READ. 

Why? Because of the reason everyone who loved it loved it. It was about a freaking vampire that was freaking hot and freaking in love with a freaking normal girl. Freaking. BUT because I read this book, because I was obsessed with romance, and because as we all know I was destined to become a girl who can seriously appreciate a good novel, I tend to think it was somewhat worth it. 

I mean, the thing about romance, whether you are for the gushy love scene or not, whether you are for the heart break or not, or whether you adore the hot boy vampires or not, it’s something that everyone relates to. It’s a feeling that everyone has felt. Something that everyone can sigh about knowingly since 4th grade when you had a crush on a boy that pull your hair on the play ground. 

Romance is *important* to literature. It raises the stakes in high speed action scenes when you know the hero’s bride-to-be is on the other side of the wall he’s about to blow up. It reminds you of the loss of someone you loved when you see the heroine carrying the flag of her fallen soldier while wearing black. And of course, it gets you all riled up when the heroine just *can’t* decide which  *boy* is right for *her*.

 In my writing, romance is never the main topic. I mean, I’m sure that works for some people, but for me it just doesn’t really flow with me very well as the ENTIRE book. But it’s never far from the plot. I can’t lie, I like to swoon over fictional characters, cry when someone who isn’t real perishes, and write songs about the emotions that some authors can layer on so well. I happen to think love is rather important. That’s just something about me. 

Want to follow our blog tour? Here are the participating parties, day by day

February 5– http://noveljourneys.wordpress.com –Novel Journeys

February 6– http://lilyjenness.blogspot.com –Lily’s Notes in the Margins

February 7– http://kirstenwrites.wordpress.com –Kirsten Writes!

February 8– http://correctingpenswelcome.wordpress.com – Comfy Sweaters, Writing and Fish

February 9– http://delorfinde.wordpress.com –A Farewell to Sanity

February 10– http://thewordasylum.wordpress.com –The Word Asylum

February 11– http://weirdalocity.wordpress.com –From My Head

February 12– http://estherstar1996.wordpress.com –Esther Victoria1996

February 13– http://alohathemuse.wordpress.com –Embracing Insanity

February 14– http://greatlakessocialist.wordpress.com –Red Herring Online

February 15– http://goteenwriters.blogspot.com –Go Teen Writers (Honorary Participant)

February 16– http://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.com –This Page Intentionally Left Blank

February 17– http://oyeahwrite.wordpress.com –Oh Yeah, Write!

February 18– http://incessantdroningofaboredwriter.wordpress.com –The Incessant Droning of a Bored Writer

February 19– http://herestous.wordpress.com –Here’s To Us

February 20– http://teenscanwritetoo.wordpress.com –Teens Can Write Too! (We will be announcing the topic for next month’s chain)

*Intro Music*

Yeah so maybe this whole post is just me trying to procrastinate from doing my homework. Maybe I have absultuley nothing of intrest to say right now. Maybe I should be here at all because as, aformentioned, I have homework which is of the math variaty and is something that I honestly do not have the luxury of not doing right.

Don’t not do your homework. That is bad.

See here’s the thing about math for me, I can’t actually slack in that class. In English? Other than having to do my work I’m guaranteed an A. Social Studies? As long as you pay attention and know how to use your book, you dan’t actually have to learn anything. Science is basically the same thing.

But when I’m doing math, I actually have to do math. I can’t just copy down what’s in the book or use fancy words to inpress people.

Being so smart is a drag, let me tell you.

There is your photo for the day.

Honestly, I don’t even remember when I took that. last summer maybe? But with the wonderful discrovery of Picnik thanks to the also lovely Novice Journal, I have been quite into my photos.

I think I like the shadow of her hands the best.

I don’t know if you know, but there are these two guys that make video’s on the internet site called YouTube. Their names are John and Hank Green–The Vlogbrothers–and they have successfully created an entire community proud of calling themselves nerds, and love supporting charities and hope and intelligence. If you have never seen one of their videos, about books and science and friendships and doing things in the name of awesome, you should click here and it will take you too their main channel. It maybe won’t change your life. But it might, and that would be cool.

The community they created is called Nerdfighteria. It is full of Nerdfighters. It is a place where we never forget to be awesome, live inside the internet, and do things that improve our lives for fun.

Hank invented 2D glasses, is the founder of one of the biggest Eco friendly organizations in the world, and writers really awesome songs. John Green writes young adult books. You might have read one. They win awards sometimes, and also happen to be excellent.

The latest book to come out is called The Fault In Our Stars about teenagers, and cancer, and love, and reading books and also lots of other things.

They went on tour. And I went, last night. And it was great.

Where I go to school, nobody really cares that I like to read or that I like sad folk music more than hip hop. It’s not unreal that I’ll have a book of poetry at my desk that I read for fun. I have friends that care about me, who love that I love books, that watch Dr. Who with me, and have seen a couple Vlogbrothers videos. (The most prominent in these categories being Coffee. Click on her name and you can see how wonderful that girl is too.)  But I still feel different sometimes.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m okay with that, in fact, I happen to be proud of that. So what if only gay guys get my jokes or that no one has ever heard of any of the bands I like? I’m okay with that.

But last night. Last night was excellent. There was a girl with colored hair and fez, eating a cupcake promoting DFTBA. There were t shirts with inside jokes, that even though most us hadn’t met, we all understood and laughed about. There were books and CDs that we all loved, right in front of us, that no one else would understand.

And it was… great.

So that’s why you should join Nerdfighteria. Because even though we might not fit in anywhere else–or even if we do, we fit in there. And it feels lovely.

*intro music*

I was busy making a tumblr.

Damian: I tumblr? Sounds stupid.

It’s not really, it’s like a blog only you do less work.

Damian: So. It *is* stupid.

No! It’s just sort of addicting. And as you are sure to point out to me, my dear, dear evil imaginary friend, I am very easily addicted to such websites. Which is both a good thing–i.e. this blog–and a bad thing–i.e. me leaving this blog for crazy amounts of time while I go and do silly other things I end up forgetting about.

Damian: Your right.

REALLY!? YOU THINK I’M RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING!?

Damian: You are very susceptible to addictive websites.

*narrows eyes and turns to the audience* Do ignore him please.

But anyway, I apologize. *grumbles under breath* Jerk Imaginary friend.

So yes. This post is my ramble-y sort of way of saying three things. 1) I have a tumblr you should go there and follow me or whatever people do on tumblr (haven’t really caught on yet) because it is cool. 2) I am sorry for not posting in so long. 3) The Cinderella Story Movie/ Don’t watch it because it is much, too much like the first too mashed together.

Damian: You do know that all the Cinderella Story movies have to be fairly similar? Because the plot. Is. Exactly. The. Same? It’s like in the definition.

WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!

But that is not the point.

The point is, the contest that I got said money from last year, a local library system thing, is starting up again. And I am sort of freaking out.

I mean, I love my work. But when you’re judged faceless, it’s pretty scary. What if they don’t get it? What if they over think it? What if they miss it altogether. I mean, no doubt, there must be some really bad entries, but there are also tons of wonderful entries too. And although I know it shouldn’t even matter if I win or not–as I’m not particularly worried about the money or anything–it’s like I can’t control myself with worry.

Last year I didn’t worry about it at all. And I won first place in my division.

And I feel selfish too, because although I don’t really have anything to gain from the contest, I still *want* to win. Not to show off–or maybe to show off a little bit that makes it even worse)–but because I want to know that I am still good. That over this last year when the only time I have ever written anything was for this blog, for nanowrimo, or for school.

So really. This is all a self esteem issue.

I don’t like self esteem issues.

Like my feet have slipped out from the front of my body,

like I’m sliding on my black,

or maybe shooting through the sky,

my hair all around me–above me,

mixing with the clouds, the birds, the atmosphere.

And I think:

I don’t mind falling.

I dont mind the feelings.

But I’m a bit scarred for the collision.